Friday, October 17, 2008
Help for the Helper
So many of us in the helping professions do not get the much needed help that we need in order to be better, effective, and feel more competent in what we do...what I mean by better is a better therapist, better listeners, a better helper in all what we do. Think about it, we tell our clients to take care of themselves and explain to them the importance of "self care", yet we are not following our own advice...Is this hypocritical? yes, absolutely. If we continue to NOT take care of ourselves what is the consequence? From what I have seen in the social and human services professions as well as many other helping professions, some of the consequence is resentment, bitterness, exhaustion, distaste for the profession, lack of motivation, lack of ambition, and poor health and well being, as well as other signs and symptoms I have not mentioned.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
My journey into academics and career........................
I remember when I was a little girl I always found myself helping others. When I grew up I knew I was going to help people. I did not realize the lifelong journey I that was to come. I began my career in High School when I decided to not be a truant anymore and be a role model in my community by becoming part of the Student TEACH program. From truancy to graduating a year later but in the top 15% of my graduating class was quite an accomplishment for me. I then began taking college level courses in my senior year of High School to see if I was cut out for college...well I did OK and continued to persue my college career in Teaching. Two years into my undergad studies I changed to psychology which I realized I am not a good test taker, changed to teaching physical education because I loved to exercise and had an interest in fitness so why not? After all I was an assistant teacher for three years and it was still helping and teaching children. Well five years of college and a teaching job, well I was done and tired of not being sure where I wanted to go. I decided to get married and be a stay at home mother. About five years and two children later I then thought maybe I should get into Law enforcement while my middle of three children was still a baby, bad idea. I did not realize the sacrifice of time and effort to get into the NYPD and for terrible money and I was not sure if this was even the career choice I had really been looking for. One of the best decisions I have ever made in my life and I would not trade it for any other rewarding job was staying home with my children. So I continued my life as a volunteer because I could choose my hours, days and what I wanted to do. Well after over 20 years of being available to my children, working part time and volunteering in many different areas, from mentoring at risk youth to helping HIV/AIDS end of life palliative care I finally decided it was time to finish what I had began in academics and my career. I decided to finish my BA in Psychology and reach for an advanced degree in Social Work (MSW). Just to think what I have been doing most of my life has been social work. It was all the courses and experiences I had earlier as well as the many influential people in my life that have mentored me into the field of Social Work. My journey is still continuing and I never would have thought I could have came so far. WOW I impress myself.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Are standards that important?
I truly believe standards are important and that no matter what the profession we should all hold ourselves to a high standard for many reasons. Some reasons are ethical obligations to the profession and clients, to determine job descriptions and qualifications, and to also determine salaries. Standards are used to help employees and clients alike. There are situations where standards hurt and can hinder a profession. For example my profession is social work, it has been a long and grueling task for the standards of social work to finally get there due. Social Workers are getting a portion of the salaries and some of the recognition that they have so long deserved, but there is still more work to be done, we still have to strive for better. But now Social Workers have to keep up with the standard of excellence through continued education and training, supervision and through licensure, not to mention the student loans that have accumulated through advanced education. Licensure is another issue of stanards that has been a challenging one. I myself failing the licensing exam in New York twice, I cant find a decent paying clinical job without it and so many other social workers that I associate with also are finding the task difficult. There are good social workers out there that cannot keep up due to a state exam and yet they are wonderful, proficient, and compassionate to the profession despite this fact. What social workers have been a long time awaiting for is now become a standard that has come to bite us in the butt.
In the company of myself
I have learned a great deal about myself since I have had time to be with myself. It could be a combination of age, experience, life, education, sharing, therapy, etc... But I have learned to enjoy being with myself. I was so use to being chaotic and busy and just constantly doing, so when I was not "doing", I felt like there is something I am missing out on or I am wasting time doing nothing. But I have not been use to doing nothing, because I always found something to do, and "doing nothing" meant I had to really take a look at myself...the real me and all those things resolved and unresolved within me. Wow! is that hard to do...but I had to learn how to do it and to really listen to my inner self and love and respect her. It was not as bad as I thought and it is still a work in progress and I am loving doing nothing in the company of myself more and more.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Boundaries are healthy
It feels so liberating to know I don't have invite certain people to my home if I do not want to. It feels so good to know I can say "No" without feeling guilty of hurting someone elses feelings, and not feeling bad about it. It is so nice to know that I can attend certain functions and not others and have no care in the world about what other's think. It is nice to know that I having set boundaries I have grown to be more assertive, independent and others are less apt to imposing their stuff onto me. I have set my ground and have posted my boundaries to help me make better decisions, to protect me from getting abused and also to allow myself to see myself as a decision maker and not as a "have to person". Boundaries are healthy, but setting them up is alot of work...but anyone can do it.
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